Stuck In LaLa Land: 6 Signs That You Are Suffering From “Sweet Willie Syndrome”

Many women desire a loving partnership with a man, but some may fall short in receiving this love from a man because she gets caught up immediately after sex. Many men view their penises as a way to control the woman, and many women fall victim from getting a man’s best only in the bedroom. After getting good sex from a man, a woman can often forget about whether he has other qualities to offer her. Her sexual urges becomes her number one priority, but often women who only receives sex from a man becomes emotionally damaged in the process. Especially if she falls for him outside of their sexual relationship. She begins forgetting his faults, forgives him for his violations, and doesn’t demand him to meet higher standards. A sistah of mine from years back told me these women are under the “sweet willie” spell. Similar to the “dickmatized” woman, woman suffering from “sweet willie syndrome” is a woman that allows a man who has good sex game force her to escape all logic and attach emotions to the man, even though all he brings to the table is good dick. A woman getting good dick becomes stuck in what I call “LaLa Land”. LaLa Land is what I call a place where women fall into a state of euphoria after being intimate with a man, and tries to create a fantasy of the man based on sex alone. Instead of rising in love, this woman is falling deeper for the man, but often does so foolishly. Her logic is replaced with emotion and she doesn’t think rationally about her plans with the man she’s lusting after or loving on. She doesn’t see the future clearly, because she is under the influence of sexual relations and not a tangible relationship. Instead of Love, she gets “LaLa” which usually comes in the form of delusions of grander when it comes to her relationship with the man. I’ve been there sis, so no need to be ashamed. When you are dealing with a man, ask yourself, what does he bring to the table besides dick and a headache? Are you willing to be foolish for a man that has only given you a few orgasms?

From “Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta”

A woman suffering from “sweet willie syndrome” is easy to spot. From the outside looking in, you will peep her foolish behavior the moment you see her with a man that has more poor qualities than good. Usually these women are women who are way out of the man’s league. She may have a successful life and career, while he’s struggling in those areas. You will see her foolishly move a man in to live with her and he does not providing for her or her household. You may see her children suffer from lack of attention, while she openly admits to being “happy” with her man. You may see her isolate herself from her loved ones to give more of her time and energy to a man that isn’t bringing much to the table. My intent with this blog isn’t to shame a woman who is under “sweet willie” influence. Instead this blog will go a bit into detail in how women can recognize the signs she is suffering from “sweet willie syndrome”, so she can eventually awaken and find the love that she deserves. Here are the signs that you may be suffering from “sweet willie syndrome”:

  1. You Announce It: Many women who are under the sweet willie spell will announce it themselves. I see it on social media all the time. They talk about dick, and getting dick all day and night long. Some will even beg for dick in moments of crisis hoping they sexual relief will heal their traumatic wounds. You will see them say, “I need some dick” boldly and proudly. While I am not shaming women for wanting sexual pleasure, if most of your time you are talking of dick, you may have an attachment to it that can be unhealthy. Surely there are more topics to talk about than getting some dick. Especially since I honestly feel getting dick is very easy already. Most men I personally know have sexual appetites similar to women and are happy to indulge any woman’s fantasy. In fact, I think most men don’t have high standards when it comes to who they have sex with. Announcing that you wan dick publicly can appear desperate, because the possibly of finding a man to sex you is already high. No need to announce it sis. Go get that dick if you want it. After a while it can appear that you are begging for the dick. No need. Men are easy enough. If you put your pussy on the platter, best believe that some men will be happy to counter your offer.
  2. Accepting “Broke Dick”: One of the most easiest ways to spot a woman under sweet willie influence is a woman accepting a broke dick. What I mean by this is that a woman will accept a man who isn’t providing for her in exchange for sex. Many women who are in the sex wok industry can tell you that men will gladly pay for sex. If you are sexing a man who can’t at least take you out on a date, you may be on the losing side of the game. A man that cares about the woman he is sexing will at least feed her prior to, but many women under sweet willie influence will not even require him to take her out on a date prior to. Instead she accepts “chill dates” that eventually leads to sex. Many women will even move in her long term booty call and pay his bills, keep a roof over his head, fix his credit, and feed him. What else is expected of him besides sexing you on demand? Also is your pussy invaluable where you don’t deserve to be treated like royalty by the man you sleeps with? I am here to tell you sistah that you deserve to be treated like a Goddess by any man that enters into your temple (your body). A man you are sleeping with should wan you well fed, well dressed, and with a roof over YOUR head. He should want to keep you happy in any way possible without you begging for him to do so. If you are in the reverse position, you are letting him now that you are not a woman of worth. You are worthy of a provider and protector who can please you sexually as well.
  3. Fighting Over Community Dick: A man with community dick is a man that doesn’t value himself. Many men feel the same way about women who have multiple sex partners. They will call these women ‘hoes” and treat them less than human. A woman should feel the same about a man. A man with community dick creates drama among women, because more than likely all of them are under the sweet willie influence. It’s one thing to deal with a man with community dick, and a whole different level of dickmatized to fight over him. I don’t know how many times I have seem women fight over men that only have good dick to offer each woman involved. If a man is only giving you good sex and not commitment, there is no need to be possessive over him. But sometimes good dick will have a woman thinking her name is written on his penis. It is not. A woman can’t control a man through sex only, unless he pays for it. A man can sex as many women as he wishes without feel guilty or being called a hoe. You don’t have that luxury, so no need to fight over it. If you fight over community dick, you may have a problem deeper than what I can explain on this blog. Come from under the spell, sis. He is for EVERYBODY.
Source: Youtube

4. “Oops Babies”: Your sexual urges and desires should not cloud your judgement. At all times you should be in control of your body, your sexual urges, and sexual behavior. Your sexual behavior shouldn’t be irresponsible, because through sex with a man a woman can create life. I notice that many sistahs have been caught up in having children for men she is isn’t in a committed relationship with. Here comes the “oops” baby. Moments of weakness for the dick has caused a life to be born, and often the child is born into a dysfunctional relationship. Often women who have “oops” babies are also not prepared for the child which can lead her into having abortions, or having drama with the man she procreated with. To eliminate this chance a woman should be responsible with her vagina, and not let her sexual urges for dick to control and dictate her actions and decisions. Giving men full access to your body can force you to end up connected to a man that you may not want to be fully connected to.

5. Cutting Off Family and Friends: If you have loving people in your life that want the best for you, they will always want you to make responsible decisions with your life. They want to see in you in happy and loving relationships. Often I have seen women suffering from “sweet willie syndrome” cut off their loving friends, because the friends do not approve of her being with the man. A lot of women under “sweet willie influence” can mistakenly confuse her loved ones of being ‘jealous” of her relationship with a man that aint treating her right. If your friends and family that love you see you are losing yourself over the dick, they will warn you. If you cut them off because you choose the dick over your friends, sis you may have a problem. I remember years back I was in love with a man, and under the sweet willie spell. I was too blind to see that this man wasn’t healthy for me. One night I foolishly fought with my friends who was trying to keep me from going over my ex lover’s place. Later on in the relationship this man ended up breaking my heart, and I almost lost my friends over it. I learned then that the people closest to you truly want the best for you. I can’t let my attachment to a man (or his good sex) dictate my relationships/friendships with those that love me most. They will always be there even when he’s not. If your friends and family are warning you, pay attention. They may see something you don’t looking from the outside in. Their judgments aren’t clouded by the man’s sweet willie influence, so it will probably be best to listen to them with an open mind.

6. Placing The Man Over Your Children: This can be a tricky one because many narratives, especially religious narratives, teaches women to place the man first in her life. However, this can be detrimental to your children if it causes you to neglect their needs. I have witnessed many women get with a man, and in the process leave her children to come second to the man. Often times the man is also not taking care of the woman or her children. Instead the woman is taking care of the man and her own children, but the children are neglected because their mother is caught up with the man. Many times I have seen women in toxic relationships drag their children along for the ride while attached to a toxic man. Many times the children don’t approve of the man and the mother still continues to choose the man over the advisement of her children. When a woman is under sweet willie spell, she doesn’t see the flaws that those around her see, to include her children. Another way a woman chooses a man over her children, is how many mothers end up competing with their own daughters over a man. This is especially true for teenage daughters. Many mothers end up assuming the daughter is in competition with her over the man. This is sexual jealousy on the mother’s behalf. Sweet willie syndrome will have women possessive and jealous over the man, and thinking that other women are out to “get her man”. Often her daughter can fall victim to being unfairly caught in the middle. A woman with a rational mind will always put her children she gives birth to FIRST. They are CHILDREN and depending on their mother to take care of their needs. A healthy mother not caught up in a toxic relationship will NEVER make her children come second to a grown man that can take care of himself.

Women who become obsessed over dick, usually leads her on a path to insanity. She doesn’t think rationally or logically about her relationship with the man. Her sexual relationship with the man clouds her judgement. Often she ends up taking care of broke men, putting her man before her children, fighting other women over the man, cutting of her loved ones over the man, and becomes possessive and jealous over the man. Many men know that women can become vulnerable after sex, and of course they can use sexual fantasies to draw women in. Peep game. Properly assess what else a man brings to the table outside of “good dick”. It becomes a sad sight seeing a woman commit herself to a man that only brings penis on a platter, and not something tangible to the table. A woman suffering from sweet willie syndrome will obsess over penis and lose herself in the process. I can assure you that no dick on this planet is worth you losing yourself. This also enables men to thin that their dick is more valuable than actually treating women in a loving manner. Men begin to believe that all they have to do is sex women and not actually love women. Sis, you are worth more than that. You deserve love to. Get out of LaLa Land and cross over to Love Land.

© Tanisha R. Coleman and Visions Of A Black Herstorian, LLC 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tanisha R. Coleman and Visions Of A Black Herstorian, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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