Self-Preservation: A Black Woman’s Devotion To Her Personal Freedom
Preserve (verb): maintain (something) in its original or existing state; to keep alive, intact, or free from decay; maintain; to keep safe from injury, harm, or destruction : protect;
Who’s responsibility is it to maintain YOU? Many will eventually learn that the road is traveled alone. Sometimes you desire to find many friends, or have a big family to surround you. However, I learned not to become reliant on others to give me the love, respect, honor, and protection I need. I am smart enough to know these may not be a value that is practiced by others, nor if people feel I deserve love respect, honor, and protection. I learned a long time ago, that most of the things I want in life is reliant on myself, not others. Most of the growth or learning I want to obtain is self motivated. Most of the needs I have in my life are self-obtained. Most of who I believe myself to be is self-defined. Though I am surrounded by many in my life that love and support me, at the end of the day the responsibility of all my desires, and needs in life is mine. Mine to fulfill, and mine to preserve.
What is your preservation or survival plan? Do you have one? Is your plan leading you to self-sufficiency or co-dependency? This is especially paramount for a black woman. Many issues that black women face are not liable to receive empathy, support, or care. Also black women also end up on the bottom of the list when it comes to resources. realized then that in order to take care of myself more properly, and take my self preservation more seriously.
This is a self-preservation plan I have created for myself, to assist in my own personal life experiences. I am just throwing out suggestions for those serious of becoming Boss Black Women who refuse to be sacrificed for a cause that will not benefit us or our children ultimately. I suggest getting a binder to place all items in so its all in one location and easily accessible. This is a tentative list for your own blueprint. Future entrepreneurs will need a BUSINESS PORTFOLIO. The list of course can be adjustable on a case by case, person by person scenario:
Self-Defense: Your self-protection is the first priority. GET A WEAPON (guns, knives, pepper spray, taser), also suggest self-defense classes.
GET INSURANCE POLICES ON EVERYTHING (Medical/Dental, Car, Rental/home, Life)
When moving to a new location (Research: job market, education, cost of living, crime stats, local government policies, medium income rate, minimum wage, property value)
Register to Vote: supporting local, state, and federal policies shapes and dictates resources that could be available to you if you need assistance. I also suggest signing up for sites that creates petition to help fight against injustices, and unfair policy practices.
Create a support network tree of all your supporters and what how they can support you.
Debt elimination plan
Monthly Budget plan
Keep receipts of all purchases, especially major purchases.
Self- Care practices:
Mental health (therapy, and support groups)
Spiritual health (yoga/meditation, spritual circle/group, private rituals)
Fitness and Wellness
Hobbies and activities (They have classes for damn near everything)
Leisure and Vacation
Create a parenting plan:
Keep all court documents, and agreements made by all adult caregivers.
A signed agreement made in regards to the expectations for the child(ren) and the guardians.
LLC your name and Business(es)
Safe keep all important documentations, budgets, and business plans.
Also keep in mind copyright protections, patents, and trademarks
Home security (alarm, camera, fire detector, extinguisher, carbon monoxide detector).
Business Networking opportunities (look for/list local clubs, sisterhoods, Business clubs, gun clubs, etc)
Get a Lawyer (Many states have Pro Bono Networks as well)
Keep record of any threats or defaming behavior
Apply for restraining orders from harmful individuals
Keep a list of reporting agencies
VOLUNTEER (Keep interaction with local community so you are aware of what’s going on around you, good karma)
Create a POTENTIAL PARTNER QUALITY LIST (Do NOT waver on the man you DESIRE to ADD to your LIFE)
Create a Safety and Emergency plan (budget plan, List of resources, support tree activation, list of safe locations, etc.)
Create a LEGACY PLAN: (3-5 year goals, 5-10 year goals, parenting plan, list of assets to pass down, living will, retirement plan)
Understand that sometimes when you are a woman who is heavily relied on (whether good or bad) this can cause resistance from those who can no longer benefit from you. Sometimes self preservation may require some isolation, detachments, and changes that those around us may not be able to keep up with or adjust to. Many women will find themselves in positions of ultimatums to fight for her personal rights, freedom, or independence. If you find yourself in this situation (some situations can be severe and can lead to harm), it will take strength and courage to: Choose Yourself. Choose yourself anyway. I wish every black women on a path to her own personal freedom the best on Her Journey.
***Feature Photo Artist Unknown***
© Tanisha R. Coleman and Visions Of A Black Herstorian, LLC 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tanisha R. Coleman and Visions Of A Black Herstorian, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.