Pimpology and “Breaking A Bitch”
Pimparchy: A system of control that is sexually, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially exploitative and damaging to women and children for personal gain or benefit. Alongside it’s parent system Patriarchy.
Term coined by Fatou Diarra; Definition by Tanisha Coleman
Pimpology and Interpersonal Relationships
Pimpology: pimpology refers to the art of understanding the female psyche to the point of being able to “pimp” them, and that the man ( or woman ) with the ability to control and manipulate a woman through her choices. When I did some research on the “pimp/ho” relationship, I started to notice similar behaviors I see in normal relationship exchanges between men and women. I spoke with several men who themselves have expressed to me that many have read articles and books were authored by self-proclaimed pimps or sex traffickers themselves. Looking at the socialization between black males and females I witness much pimp/ho behavior in ordinary men (the pimp archetype), and assimilated behavior in the women (the hoe archetype). I have traced such behavior to what is taught and instilled into black girls/women and boys/men. In this blog I will break down where I believe such behavior could possibly stem from, as well as the contribution pimp/ho culture has to conflicting relations between black men and women. Thus, creating the cultural system of pimparchy.
Breaking A Bitch
The process of “Breaking a Bitch” can be found both in pimp/ho culture and interpersonal relationships between males and females. The process of “breaking a bitch” is both an overt and covert process to try to force a woman into submission to a dominant male (or female) figure. Urban Dictionary defines “breaking a bitch” as the human female equivalent of breaking a horse or a dog, which involves persistent light sexual harassment until the female gives up trying to fight back and submits to the dominance of the male. The dominant male often tries to prove to the woman that he is a worthy guardian, and performs well during intercourse. This is a common practice apart of the pimp game, and is used against most women who rejects the narrative of being submissive to a man.
“Breaking a Bitch’ and Submission to the Husband
Similar to breaking a bitch, a more covert process can be found in the process of forcing a woman into submission to her husband. Many religious doctrines defines women who submit to her husband as virtuous women worthy of a relationship with a man. Religious institutions plays a large role in forcing women into submission, which is why I did a blog previously about pimparchy and the black pastor. Not only does a pastor play the role of a pimp in male and female relationships, but her husband can play the role of the pimp as well. In this relationship dynamic, and woman that is led by the dominant man becomes the “hoe”. A “hoe” is seen as the property of the pimp, similar to how the wife is seen as the property of her husband. Both the hoe and the wife are then treated as property and many tactics are used to force both into submission.
This submission will be whatever the dominant male defines as a woman worthy of him. Many men define womanhood based on what services he believes the woman should provide for him. Any refusal or rejection to his terms, can be met with a persistent effort on his end to “change her mind”. Also note that many “pimps” believe that a woman doesn’t know what is best for herself, so he will find ways to invade into her spaces to steer her into his direction. The objective of a pimp is to take away the women’s rights and freedom to choose definitions and options for herself, A pimp doesn’t want the woman to choose any option outside of himself and what he wants for her. Some of the covert tactics will be mental and emotional abuse. He will try to force the woman to accept terms of unworthiness and terms that places her beneath the man. Religion and spiritual systems that praises a male God can play a part in trying to get women to accept a “place” beneath every man, making it easy for a man to assert himself over a woman. Many men can use these same definitions to get a woman to accept a “lesser position”.
If the woman rejects these terms and conditions, his tactics can advance to more harsh treatment and he can become abusive. The process of “breaking a bitch” is to make the woman feel unworthy through emotional and mental break down. If he succeeds then his control over her becomes easier, and many will believe that she accepted the lesser position willingly. However, the woman may have just gave in to avoid more abusive treatment especially if she isn’t being protected, or unable to physically defend herself. It is no secret that many men become physically and sexually abusive in order to gain power, dominance, and control over a woman. Once a woman resists against his mental and emotional abuse, he can become sexually and physically abusive to her. Another tactic will also involve trying to hold her financially hostage, especially if the woman is financially dependent on him for her survival needs. This is also a pimp tactic to place a financial price on her value. If he is paying he will believe that he is entitled to treat her as he wish and entitled to services from her. This is when the husband become a trick, and many husbands can toss between being the pimp and the trick depending on his behavior towards her. A trick usually pays for services and not as abusive as the pimp as it is a capitalistic exchange. The pimp however is more focused on gaining power and dominance over the woman and may not be as financially responsible. We can see here that an abusive husband can be the wife’s pimp more so than her domestic partner. A partnership will require the man to see her as his equal and worthy of respect and protection. However, if the husband has a pimp mentality, this is where you will see the stereotypical “wife beater” or abusive husband.
“Breaking the Black Woman”
Pimp/Ho culture is actively apart of black culture. You can see pimping in our movies, in our music, in our art, and even in literature. Many famous entertainers use pimping as their artistic platform. Is life imitating art or is art imitating life? The reality for black women can be a harsh one. Many black women grew up without an active father present in her life, which can greatly affect her sense of security from a male. Having male protection in her life is essential to ensure that pimps do not gain access to her and exploit her for sex, and services. It also lets other men know that she is protected just in case men become physically and sexually abusive towards her. Due to the lack of protection for black women, many black women are broken down into the hands of pimps since they were girls. There are many ways this is happening, and much evidence to prove that black women are being actively broken down in the position of the hoe.
By the age of 18, more than 60% of black women will be molested. Run away black girls are also known to be trafficked once they run into the hands of a sex trafficker (pimp). Black women are also the most likely to be domestically abused by her partner, as well as most likely to be killed by her domestic partner, There is also over 64,000 plus black women currently missing in the United States. The disregard and abuse of black women has put many black women in the position of submitting to pimps and abusive partners in order for her to survive. The lack of protection and visibility on these issues eventually perpetuates a cycle of abuse towards black women and her children. Her children also becomes a victim in this cycle, as many survivors have their children taken from them when they are dealing with the effects of trauma. Who will be a voice for the sex trafficked woman and the domestically abused woman? Who will take a stand against the pimps in the street, and the pimps in the home? While saving the entire collective may be a hard victory to obtain, we must start first with educating black women and children (especially girls) on how to properly identify pimp behavior. After educating, there needs to be a plan of action for black women to actively defend herself from pimps, even if these pimps are closer to home than the pimp in the streets. There needs to be segregation between the pimps, and the woman and children to avoid further exploitation.
To ensure that pimping doesn’t become a continued cycle of abuse against women and children, there are a few key concepts that have to be heavily pushed and enabled. Respect the woman’s definition of womanhood. An important part of any relationship is compatibility. A woman can’t be compatible to a pimp, if his only definition for her is “hoe”. Respect her right to say NO. A woman who is self protecting is a woman who values her right to say NO to anything tat is harmful against her. Respect her right to choose for herself the man that she desires, and do not control her right to choose. To deny her of this right is to enable her oppression. Most importantly, PROTECT HER. Give her the sense of security she deserves so she can operate at her fullest capacity. If protecting her is too much to bear due to resistance, then she deserves JUSTICE. Pimps need to be held accountable, and exiled from our communities. A Man Divine needs to take his place.
© Tanisha R. Coleman and Visions Of A Black Herstorian, LLC 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tanisha R. Coleman and Visions Of A Black Herstorian, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.