As I sit here and type this with my dinner on the stove and my wine glass beside me, I have been thinking about the men I have encountered in my life. As you read along my descriptions of each man, one may begin to see that this is obviously coming from a woman who is tired. I am definitely a woman with many “not so good” experiences with men. I should not need to explain. I have brought this up to family and friends many times and now I’m writing this here on my blog. So here it is, my three classifications of men.

1. THE “GOOD”  MAN

This is the man who you meet at a point in his life where he have “his stuff together”. This man will possess the qualities of the “Four P’s”, that can assist in building and sustaining a healthy relationship; 1) To Provide, 2) To Protect, 3)To Procreate, and 4) To Profess. This man will be an intellectual (college degree or not), self-motivated, career-driven, spiritual, and family orientated. He may not be rich according to society’s standards but he will most definitely be able to provide. From the moment you meet this man, he will not be a man who will lead you on, but will instead lead and guide his woman. He will be a man who is searching for a Queen in his life, not a pawn; a woman who will compliment all of his qualities. Seeking a Queen to complete him will be his goal.  This man should be a gentleman and a believer in chivalry, and will constantly profess his love to his woman. Both through his words and through his actions. He will have the massage waiting for you when you get home from working those long hours. He is able to assist you in domestic duties; he wont mind alternating days to cook dinner, he will help with cleaning the house, and he will offer to take the kids to school.. He is every woman’s dream, and sometimes this can be to a fault. His good qualities will go unnoticed, so it wont be surprising if he encounters women that will take advantage of his good nature. There have been good men that are taken for granted, and sometimes will push a good woman away because of the barriers he may build. No need to worry, within every good man, even those that have strayed off, his good nature will never fully disappear. Many women believe that  the possibility of meeting this man is slim to none. Even as a single woman, one that knows her worth and value can only hold onto to her faith and eventually he will find her. This is not to say that this man will be perfect, but he would be the perfect man for you. Almost too good to be true. Your Prince after dealing with peasants, your knight after being enslaved, your light at the end of that dark tunnel. THE GOOD MAN.

2. THE MAN IN PROGRESS

This is a man with potential, but he havent quiet reached it yet. However, even though he haven’t reached his full potential in life he still has potential and is making progress. Sometimes when a woman sees a man’s potential, it is hard to decipher whether or not he is ready to make those changes within himself. Or even if its worth taking the risks. Usually this man will possess many great qualities that will overshadow the qualities that he lacks for a woman of high standards. Example, he may be in between jobs, but he is going to school in order to advance his career options. Or it may be possible his was laid off, but posses enough experience or an advanced degree that can make him a qualified candidate for a job in the near future. With this man, it is important that if he is an adult, and is lacking a job, a car, or his own place, there should be extreme circumstances surrounding his situation that makes it understandable. At the end of the day, it is up to that woman’s level of tolerance in order to make a choice on whether she would want to “stick it out” or severe ties. And of course, I truly believe there needs to be a time limit for him obtain these things. If he was truly a good man to heart, he will be aggressive to obtain the qualities of a “GOOD MAN” for the woman he desires. He will be actively  looking for that new job that will take him places. If he doesn’t have a car, he will give you a realistic plan to obtain one. He wont lie and say it’s in the shop, bu will be honest that he is striving to achieve the qualities he lacks. It may be hard at times, to deal with a man who you may need to compensate for at times, however, overall he will make you happy and satisfy you. He is willing to be molded, because his drive for the woman he desires will motivate him. Sometimes it will take a Queen to speak into the King in him.  If this man truly has the potential to be the “THE GOOD MAN”, a woman will have to be patient. But a woman should choose wisely, and still knows her limits.

3. THE “TOXIC” MAN.

This is a man who will not be able to reach to his full potential in the required amount of time before you reach your breaking point. It can be kind of hard to recognize those signs, because many women will confuse “THE TOXIC MAN” with “THE MAN IN PROGRESS”. However, in most cases, a “TOXIC” man will most definitely have signs that are extremely noticeable to a woman who knows her self-worth. Even if she choses to ignore the signs and follow her intuition. One of the most obvious signs of a “TOXIC” man is that he is severely argumentative or constantly aggressive in an angry manner. This will mean that he lacks the qualities of a gentleman, because no woman should ever feel like she is constantly at war with a man, especially if she is giving her full and best effort to maintain the relationship. He will be constantly negative, and may posses chauvinistic qualities. Any man who demeans a woman, or try to distract a woman from making progress, is a man who doesn’t seek a woman to build with him. If he is not seeking to build, then he is seeking to destroy, and a good woman shouldn’t have to be taken down with him. This most likely will be a man who comes from a dysfunctional background, and is stuck in a subconscious state of recurrent dysfunctional behavior. If you were to try to tap into his conscious mind, you will most likely frustrate yourself trying incite his drive. He usually won’t have any goals or the ones he have will be unrealistic. Most of the time this man will remain single for the rest of his life, because the only purpose he will be able to serve with a woman is one of a mere sexual encounters. He will only be interested in women that he can drain all the benefits from, than contribute.  He will most likely posses some of the following traits of behavoirs; constantly disrespectful, uneducated, involved in crime, usually jobless or can’t keep one, still living with mama or family, an habitual liar, and have a history of not committing to a woman. Because a woman is naturally empathetic, they may find themselves taking on these “charity cases” in hopes that she can “save” him. Dont be fooled, certain men can be changed into a GOOD MAN, but some are not worth the time nor the effort. The “TOXIC” man will need to do his own journey first and tap into his power within, before any woman can even think about a solid relationship with him. He is the tormented soul, the lost cause, THE “TOXIC” MAN.

This is only speaking from my point of view from what I’ve encountered. This article only generalizes men into three categories. This is not at all to say that if you encounter any of these men, especially the first two, you will live happily ever after. I am a true believer that everyone on this Earth have a soul mate that they are meant for. Maybe at a later time, I will discuss the difference between your soul mate and a man that will only serve a temporary purpose. At the end of the day, these characteristics only showcase the qualities and attributes of men by my classification. In order to make a relationship work, many other factors will need to come into play, and as I continue to blog, I will be addressing them.

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