Mama’s Lessons: Taking Accountability Can Heal Old Wounds

When I look back on my relationship with my mother, I realize how somethings I held against her was lack of emotional availability, lack of knowledge, or I genuinely looked at it the wrong. I created this deep seeded belief that she favored my sister over me. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized I was favored and deserved to be disciplined, because I was misbehaving and always challenging her rules. I learned over the years to become grown and take full responsibility for my life. Even when I was a child. I knew right from wrong at a young age, but apart of me wanted to be free from rules. So I broke the rules many times to experience this freedom. I understand that at times my mother was rightfully upset with me.

While I felt like some needs weren’t meant (mentally and emotionally) and one mistake was damaging, I decided to look at my mother for being human. Capable of being wrong. Capable of making mistakes. Not being God. Not being the perfect mother. Giving her grace and forgiveness has propelled my healing into becoming the grown woman that I am. I’m independent, because she taught me how to be. I’m resilient, because she was the example. I’m strong, because she didn’t allow me to be weak. I forgive myself, because she taught me Self-Worship. I look more at the things she taught me and not harp on her mistakes. I am thankful for my mother. I am grateful for the lessons she taught me. And I realize she is perfect the way she is.

Describe your healing journey with your mother.

© Tanisha R. Coleman, 2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tanisha R. Coleman with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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