In patriarchy the mother is the scapegoat and the sacrifice. She is held to a higher standard of responsibility for children because she gives birth. Fathers are given lax standards when it comes to raising children. The parenting expected of fathers is the bare minimum. And when the child experiences failures in life the blame goes back to mama. Because of this, children are also more forgiving of their father’s mistakes than their mother’s. Mamas are expected to be damn near perfect because any mistake she makes is constantly under a microscope.
Becoming a mother is a traumatic experience for many women because she is measured to the standard of perfection. This can drive anyone crazy. Then many children wonder why they grew up with toxic mothers. The pain of being in a sacrificial seat is unbearable. Imagine the unbearable pain mothers have to endure when she decides to have children. Starting from child birth the pain of having children lasts a Lifetime. In patriarchy this pain is severely underestimated because men can not feel the pain of women.
Men do not understand the weight we carry everyday from the moment we wake up to we go to sleep raising children, and still trying to meet our needs as women. The weight of being a mother is a very heavy weight to carry that I do not think fathers carry. The standards are not the same. The expectations are not the same. Mothers rarely experience room for growth. Others are constantly hating mothers for making mistakes. Being a mother, the trauma starts with women from childbirth until death. The mental trauma occurs when everytime the word “mama” is spoken and she can not fulfill the need. The judgement is placed. The anger is directed at her. Please remember she is only human.
The traumatic experiences women face in patriarchy needs to be assessment under a microscope and addressed. Instead we place women under the microscope as who she is as a woman, wife, and mother. Patriarchy tries very hard to learn women, and use what they learn against us. Yet hardly do they really assess our pain. Especially the pain of being a mother or caregiver in this world. And after carrying this pain since the moment we give birth, and the moment you are identified as female. Being a mother is traumatic, while fathers get to be heroes. Fathers get the praise and worship in patriarchy. The father and son is worshipped in patriarchy, while the mother becomes the sacrifice and is called the holy ghost. The mother is so hated that she is a ghost, but She is within us. Honor like we honor the father and son.
Imagine the impact being a mother has on women. Our mothers, and our daughters. Balance the scales of responsibility between mothers and fathers. Relieve us of the pressure to be perfect. Don’t put us in the sacrifice seat. Honor the mother as much as we honor thy father. Honor the daughter as much as we honor thy son. We place the world om mother’s back, and praise the fathers. Take the world off our mothers back and support her. She deserves it. WE DESERVE IT.
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