On this blog I will be talking about the murder of JWAUNA MARIE WASHINGTON and my gripes with the black community in regards to the unaccountability of black male violence. The violent acts of black males have impacted me personally. My sister, Jwauna Marie Washington, was murdered by a black male who is a member of her community. It’s been 2 years, 7 months, and 13 days since my sister has been murdered, and the same amount of time I have been grieving. What I learned so far in my grieving is that NO ONE CARES about the violence towards black women. If her offender is a black male, the black community will be lax on holding him accountable. I came to this conclusion when it was revealed to me that people within the community were hiding my sister’s killer from the police shortly after her murder. He continued to receive support from other black people within his community despite them knowing he was involved in my sister’s murder. To avoid any legal actions against me I will not reveal his name, but what I will say is that his name has been revealed to me by those within the community of College Park, Georgia. Despite members of this community knowing what he have done, they continue to hide him and support him. They do not have the courage to confront him, or hold him accountable. To the entire College Park community: FUCK YOU.

After I was told who he was, I contacted him directly. I told him these words, “Time and a Place”. I will not speak directly on what this meant, but I will assume you are smart enough to know. The rage that was within me was hard to contain. The first thing that came to my mind when I found out who he was and the back story of events that lead up to her murder is “Where is my sister’s justice”? Many people within the College Park community told me that they were going to the police to give them information pertaining to her murder. They never followed through. Despite many telling me that they were against his actions, I was also told how he was still hanging with the same people that claimed to want nothing to do with him. I confronted one black woman that claimed to be a friend of my sister why was she still friends with him. She replied, “well I knew him for a long time”. At that moment I immediately cut her off and felt it was direct betrayal to my sister. I couldn’t be attached to people that were still friends with her killer. It made me sick to my stomach that this woman in one instance spoke against his crime, but in the next moment justified why she was still friends with her killer. This was also a woman that proudly boasted her love for my sister all through out social media, claiming to be one of her “best friends”. I felt the pain of betrayal from those that claimed to love her. While they were claiming love for my sister, they were also still friends with and supporting her killer. With every moment of witnessing this betrayal, my hope for justice nearly diminished. I knew then that no one really cared what happened to my sister, and the community will not hold him fully accountable. No one cared that she left behind a family of hurt black women that was left to pick up her pieces. I knew then that the community stood behind her killer despite what he has done. FUCK YOU.

I wholeheartedly believe that when a black man commits any violent act against his own, especially a black women, that he should be exiled from the community. A community should NOT be supportive of any man (or woman) that brings terror to members of his own community. For months following my sister’s murder I continued to see more acts of violence against black women in the news and media. I decided to redirect my rage into calling for justice for black women who are victims of black male violence. As I continued to expose black male violence, I was met with resistance. The resistance was in support for the violent black male verses support for his black female victims. For calling out black male violence, I was accused of hatred towards black men. What I learned from this constant resistance and knee jerk reaction, is that many empathize more with black males because of racism. Even if he is violent or oppressive himself. No one cares about his victims, because they feel sorry for black men being victims of racism.  Black women become an afterthought, as black males are riddled with many excuses for their toxic and violent behavior. As more excuses are made she becomes invisible and the attempts of justice for her begins to disappear. Just as I witnessed with my sister.

This was proven in many comments that told me that “slavery” and “the white man’s system” was the reason that black men are violent towards black women. I was once told to understand my sisters killer (because of racism) and to forgive him. Am I supposed to forgive a violent man, even though he has not been held accountable?  The constant pressure against me forced me to question where was this same resistance against my sister’s killer? I suddenly become an enemy of black men, yet magically violent black men are seen as victims. How did this become possible?  Every time I called out black male violence, I was provided with more excuses and scapegoats. Where is the personal accountability black men’s own actions and behaviors? Is justice voided for black women because her offender is a victim of racism? What about justice for the black women that are victims of black men’s acts of violence to include rape, molestation, and domestic violence? Are black women just a sacrifice to black male violence, because he is broken from a racist system? Don’t black women’s lives matter too? Can black men be seen as a violent offender when he commits violent acts? Will he be forever seen as a victim of the white man’s system even when he is a violent offender? Many questions filled my head as I misunderstood the resistance. It became apparent that every black female victim I spoke for was not visible as I was bombarded with excuses for the black male offender. To those that excuse the violent acts of black men simply because he is a victim of systemic racism: FUCK YOU.

I sit here still holding on to a bit of hope for justice, but my only words to the black community is FUCK YOU. Even when I cried out for justice for my sister,  I was cautioned by many to not make the black man an enemy. But if a black man is liable to be violent towards a black woman does he not make himself an enemy? Many wanted me to be silent. They did not care about the pain that my sister’s killer caused. They didn’t want another black man to be prosecuted by the justice system. So how else is justice for my sister’s murder supposed to happen? Does she not deserve justice even if her killer is a black man? Don’t her children that are missing a mother deserve justice? Don’t her family that misses her daily deserve justice?   I fight for justice for my sister and other black women who have been killed even if her killer is skin folk. I put myself and my family first over the desires for fake unity that leaves black women without justice to avoid holding a black man accountable. To those expecting me to be silent to save a black male killer: FUCK YOU. 

What I was taught these last two years is that black male’s oppression takes precedence over the justice for black female victims. This trauma has ripple effects in the black community, and until we start holding violent black males accountable, this traumatic cycle will continue. The ONLY thing that will heal me and allow me to rest easier at night, is JUSTICE. Something that not only I, but ALL black women deserve: JUSTICE. I’ve been so strong to not seek my own revenge like I could of easily done without remorse. I could of resorted to the same actions of my sister’s killer and other black males like him. These last two years also taught me the power of self-control. I am BETTER than him and black males like him. His violent acts were completely senseless, and I am not senseless. People think as a black woman, I should be soft and tolerant, but anger and rage fills within me just like a black men that commits violent acts. What is their excuse for not controlling their own behavior? Would I receive the same support if I killed a black man senselessly? Would my quest for justice make me defiant of black unity, because the offender is a black man? I just know one thing. I feel the pain from my sister’s murder everyday. The trauma has caused nightmares, and holding back my rage as caused me restless nights. I miss her everyday and know that she didn’t deserve to be killed. I know that she deserves justice. I believe that one day her killer will reap the consequences of his violent crime. In my quest for justice, I do not care about his oppression from the white man. I have no sympathy for him and black men like him. I do not hear the cries of supporters of violent black males. To my sister’s killer and his supporters: FUCK YOU. Forever.

May the pain of myself and my family be healed, and may we receive justice. May the victims of black male violence heal and receive justice.  May their families be healed. May justice restore us all and may the black male offenders of violent crimes reap consequences. To the black communities that stand behind violent black males: FUCK YOU. Until I see justice for black women, and the violence from black males in the communities decrease: FUCK YOU. If you make me an enemy for having the courage to speak for my sister, myself, and my family: FUCK YOU. If you think my sister’s life matters less than her killer: FUCK YOU. To those that discredit my anger and rage: FUCK YOU. To all the black men that abuse and kill each other and black women: FUCK YOU.