Finding The Happiness Within

My name is Tanisha, and my name means Happiness.

Visions Of A Black Herstorian

How do people maintain the joy within despite any obstacles they face, their current struggles, and trauma they have endured? Happiness is the state of being happy, and some people maintain their happiness much more than others. But always remember: Happiness is a choice and it’s a choice you make DAILY! Some days it will take hard work to get back to your happy place. Some days it will be just a feeling, and not an expression. Some days you will be depressed all day and night, until you wake up the next morning. But your soul will always be happy. You have to care for your soul. You have to remain Soulful. And you have to protect your soul at all times. Your soul is the connection to God, that can’t be taken, or broken, only given. DON’T GIVE IT AWAY!

To live up to my name, I want to help people find the happiness, that I find everyday when I wake up. I want people to find the joy that makes them happy to e alive. See, I have a love of self and a love for God that fills my soul. I have a love of my family and friends that fuels my gratitude for being alive. I have a love of humanity that maintains my faith in Paradise. I have the love of my sister that motivates me to live as honorable as possible. I have the love of music that makes my soul sing and dance and my spirit renews everyday. I have the love of food that comforts me in my dark phases. I have a candle and a prayer for every moment of fear. I have a paper and pen to express the stories of my heart. I have the ambition to ensure that all of my needs will be met. I have wine and liquor that numbs the pain during the toughest moments. If you count your blessings daily, every morning, before you start your day, you’ll come up with a list similar to mine. But I wish things could be so simple. So I will go into detail about how to find and maintain your happiness. Later, I will speak about my upcoming course, “The Happy Sistah” that is too full of love, peace, and happiness, and dare I say, “BLACKNESS AND FEMININITY”! Read carefully and pay attention.

Finding The Happiness Within

To find the happiness within, you must first be happy with yourself. To be happy with yourself is a journey of consistently forgiving yourself for falling short of the perfect image you have of yourself. You have to train your mind to always be compassionate with yourself and remember that you are human and bound to make mistakes. That means forgiving yourself every goal you fail to achieve, every need you neglect, every moment of anger, every fear you haven’t conquered, every time you’ve hurt someone, every time you allowed others to hurt you, every time you fail to meet any expectation has to be forgiven. Every night before you go to bed, forgive yourself. Write it down if you need help as writing gives you time to process your information when you’re not mentally strong enough to. Eventually it will be easier to forgive yourself, once your mind is changed and made up. Remember: Happiness is daily work! NO BREAKS!

To get happy after you have been disappointed or hurt by all the curves Life has thrown at you, be sure to FIGHT FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. There are people and circumstances that will try to kill the joy in you, try to break your heart, try to steal your soul, try to destroy your mind, and try to take your life. Some days you simply have to fight. It’s important to channel your inner warrior that is given to you through your spirit. There is also a courage you must have in order to channel your spirit, that can’t be taught or shown. You have to dig deep within you and all the love you have for yourself to bring it out. I channel mine through my rage. As happy as I can be, my rage can be just as strong. So always spend time with yourself and work on conquering your fears! It’s hard to be happy when you’re stuck in fear. It’s hard to be happy when you don’t have the courage to fight for yourself! Then you will always be preoccupied with looking behind yourself waiting for someone to hurt you. But if you are confident in your ability to defend yourself, you have no worries. Remember: To find your happiness, sometimes you have to fight! Save your energy, and don’t worry, be happy! Trust yourself!

Another important thing that needs to be noted about finding your happiness is that you need to find meaning in life. This meaning can be as simple as BEING ALIVE, WELL, AND HAPPY. You don’t always need to have a grand mission to conquer goals to be happy. Sometimes simply existing is enough. In fact, the more you add tasks and goals to your list, the more you create the risk of anxiety, depression, and stress. Sometimes more is less. You can do this by simplifying your life as much as possible. Let go of the need to over achieve, keeping busy, and always engaged in something. Sometimes just take a moment to exist. You can do this during meditation and with the intent to take a break from the chaos of the world. You can do this by grounding yourself in the Earth and feeling connected to Mother Nature. You can do this by practicing deep breathing exercises to remain calm. You can do this by remaining still when the moment calls for it. But most importantly, KNOW WHEN TO MOVE! That means know when to get out of danger. Know when to move your body to feel that SPARK again. Know when to walk away from drama and chaos. Know when to dance and fill your soul with joy. And Remember: at any given moment, be sure to praise God and yourself. The very thing that connects us to the world around us, keeps us alive and well.

Just as you have to be calm and still, sometimes the body needs to feel happy and the mind needs to be engaged. Music can get your body moving and touch by rhythm. So when you have the blues, put on music with an uplifting beat, and dance the pain away! Jonez in your bonz, brings happiness instantly! Praise and worship can keep the spirit active and is another form of connection to God and Nature. Excercise can keep the body strong and healthy. Food gives you energy and comfort. To keep the mind engaged, think back on good memories, learn something new, watch a movie, watch an inspiring video, or read a book. Keep on trucking through Life, until you meet death. Hopefully by that time, you’ll go peacefully. Remember: A smile works several muscles at once, so keep smiling and finding reasons to smile!

Maintaining Happiness

I repeat, Happiness is a choice and daily work. Some days you have to work harder to maintain Happiness. This is why it’s important to have happy activities incorporated into your daily routine. Many activities are free or low cost. This means Happiness can be maintained no matter your income level. Here’s a few that comes to mind:

  • A walk in the park
  • Sitting by a lake (Have a picnic!)
  • Visiting a loved one
  • Listening to music
  • A conversation with a loved one
  • Watching your favorite movie(s)
  • Stretching/Yoga in your living room
  • Visting the library and grabbing a book (or few!)
  • Grabbing a cup of coffee
  • Cooking your favorite meal
  • Going to church
  • Taking a long hot bath
  • Hiking on a trail
  • Doing a puzzle
  • Doing a crossword/word search
  • Watching a motivational/inspirational video on YouTube
  • Creating a video
  • Taking pictures in your favorite outfit

Everyday should be a day to dedicate to being happy. Maintaining your happiness can be done easier, once you realize it’s the little things that will get us by. It doesn’t have to be a grandiose moment of expression. It can be as calm as the wind on a sunny day, and as easy as breathing. Remember: Be Optimistic! You survived thus far, and you will survive a majority of your battles! It’s FREE TOO!

The Happy Sistah

I have an upcoming program that will discuss further what happiness is, how to find it, and how to maintain it. This program will also provide a sisterhood and a connection to other black women on the path to finding their happiness. If you are interested, visit my website at: or email: Look forward to working with you!

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© Tanisha R. Coleman, 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tanisha R. Coleman with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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